Today’s post is for the benefit of those I feel I have gotten to know through my work over the past 18 months, I feel I owe you this instead of just quietly slipping off the radar. Over the bank holiday weekend I have been using the time to take a stock-check of my life and I have decided it is now time for me to call it a day with my activist work and efforts with Wake Up Promotions. I have put a lot of thought into this and it was not an easy decision to make but it is the only way I can see available to move my life forward from the rut I currently find myself in.
I have never given up on anything in my life unless I have been absolutely forced to. Giving up easily is not in my nature but I have had to stop and take check of my own life and the check has revealed what I’ve known for many months now but refused to accept, I have nothing else left to give in order to continue. In my life, since my first paid job aged twelve washing cars at a Peugeot dealership on the low I have been dependent on myself to provide for my wants and needs. Since I quit my job in May 2012 I have relied only on myself apart from the last month or two where I have borrowed small amounts of money from a couple of friends. I have took no Government assistance, I am currently claiming zero benefits even though I am more than entitled to. This is because I view dependency as weakness and I have reached a point where I depend on other people for too many things in my life, I cannot continue this way.
This is a dream, an ambition and the objective of my life for the past two years coming to an end and it pains me to have to change direction but as the struggle has become harder and harder with each day that passes my passion and my drive has waned, I am just an ordinary human being with limits and there is only so far I can go. I have been 100% all in for change over the course of the last two years, there have been no half measures on my part. I have had no steady income for two years, everything you have seen from Wake Up Promotions whether it be a tweet, a blog post, a podcast or anything else they have all been researched, produced, recorded, edited and published by myself. I have done extremely well to last as long as I have, you will be hard pressed to find many people who will do the things I have been doing for no money and no gain other than the hope it would make a difference and make people aware. It has been a passion that has almost consumed me at times and there is no longer a constructive outlet for this passion. Listen to my podcasts, read my blogs and my tweets, spend half an hour talking to me about social injustice and especially the whole banking system and it is very easy to find where my loyalties lie.
You can have the best will in the world but there is only one language this world understands, money talks and bullshit walks. There is a crooked economic system at play in this world and after escaping it briefly I will now return to being just another victim like everybody else. I can think of one million things I would rather do than to rejoin the rat-race working a wage slave job for a fiat currency of no value that is paid in paper promissory notes, but needs must. It is an economic model where all finance is controlled by a corrupt and morally bankrupt banking system that is driven by greed. It is this system of greed that supports a world in which according to Oxfam the 5 richest families in Britain have more wealth than the poorest 12 million people in the country and the richest 85 people in the world have more wealth than the poorest 3.5billion combined. It is the economic model of globalisation, of privatised profits and socialised losses. It is an unjust world that I have tried my very hardest to expose and shine a light on. It is damn near impossible to survive without submitting to “the man” and I gave it my best shot.
You cannot try and change a system whilst you are a part of it unless you are working on the inside and I can firmly say I am very much on the outside. I wanted Wake Up Promotions to be self-sustaining through the music nights and make a revenue from the website of the blog and podcasts. When this didn’t work I wrote a 70,000 word novel to try and sell for £3 to get things off the ground again with the music nights and get a proper website set up but nobody was interested in buying it apart from four people. To the three who paid more than the £3 I asked for your money will be returned to you.
I played the game and I tried to beat this system and I failed. There is a saying that failure is never permanent unless you give up, I don’t know what the future holds but for the time being I am going to have to take up the selfish outlook held by most people in life and do some much needed focusing that is aimed entirely on myself. I tried hard with this endeavour, using all of my own money I put on music nights in the hope of creating a place for people to go and for real music to develop, I put on good nights where talented musicians did indeed play real music, but next to no-one came. I put on live talks and presentations by authors and people who have awareness to spread, but next to no-one came. I make a podcast each week with many hours of research behind it that contains nothing but truth and awareness but very few people listen to it. For those that do listen to it and enjoy listening I am sorry if you feel like I am letting you down. The only successful part of this venture has been the twitter account and the blog which I will continue to use in my spare time because writing is one of my passions that I enjoy, I will continue to post on twitter from time to time but it will be as a spectator and not an instigator. The overall goal was to eventually set up a small music label dedicated to good music and the truth but it is not to be.
In my pursuit of spreading awareness and walking down the path I chose I have lost my money. I’ve lost my home, having to begrudgingly move back to my mums house. I’ve lost a lot of friends and I’ve even lost weight! I have no more sacrifices left to make. I’ve dedicated the last two years of my life to this cause, I’ve literally given it everything I have and it hurts to think that I can no longer continue, hopefully all my sacrifices will not have been in vain and goodness will prevail over the insanity that rules the world, hopefully my two years will not have been wasted years.
But as it stands everything seems to fall onto deaf ears, it seems people want to remain enslaved as they continue to be blinded by the lights of the false reality built around us. If nothing changes soon then the ignorant masses will feel the full force of everything coming our way. There are many people who say don’t give up to me but they say this whilst they live comfortable lives, working jobs that support a system that needs to be done away with. They are not willing to give up their comforts and go through the temporary pain needed for a new way of life to develop.
I took the plunge and these people telling the likes of me to not give up is like a person sat in a car driving next to a marathon runner on a cold wet day, going through hell and telling them not to give up. For any change to come sacrifice is needed and people are just not willing to make the sacrifices. In one of my blog posts last week I mentioned how important care is, the post said action is what is generates our reality and this action comes by things we care about because our cares and desires drive our actions. So most people will say they want things to change but when you ask them, well what are you doing to make that change happen? The reply that comes back is silence. They don’t care enough to change it through their own actions. Nobody can question my dedication or commitment.
So is this copping out? Some would probably still say yes but I would say I’m not copping out of anything I’m just taking the only option that is left. I said my drive is waning but believe me this is not giving up because I have lost the will to fight, to quote from a hip-hop song I like I am “down and dirty, down to fight until round thirty.” The road of beliefs and convictions is a very lonely road to walk down and I have gone as far as the path will take me. There are still so many great people out there working tirelessly towards the same goal I was and the world is full of good people. But the problem is they are good people full of fear which makes them immobile. Maybe in the future fortune will shine her light my way and I can continue with my goals, but until then it is goodbye from me. Stay strong and keep the faith.
This article is authored by Lee Cooper
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